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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

The Dakotas [02 Aug 2016|05:15pm]
On Thursday afternoon I hit my hand very hard on my desk. Hard enough where I thought my hand was broken. It was not- but it hurt so badly I wanted to get an x-ray. I didn't. I couldn't pick anything up or hold anything heavier than a piece of paper. I couldn't even get dressed fully without help. Saturday morning it felt better but still hurt. Also on Saturday morning I went to South Dakota with a friend.

We left at about 7:30am and stopped at a candy store in Mitchell (she got a maple bacon flavored sucker - yuck) and stayed in Rapid City Saturday night after going to Falls Park in Sioux Falls and Wall Drug in Wall. On Sunday morning we went to the reptile garden place with the large dome. It was very pretty and much nicer than I remember it in 2005 when I was there with family. After that we went up through Hill City and walked up and down the main drag and went to shops. There were A LOT of bikers there. After that we went to the Crazy Horse memorial. We skipped Mt. Rushmore.

Finally, we made it to the Badlands. I had no idea something so pretty existed! And so close to MN too. We could have spent so much more time there but we wanted to get back to Sioux Falls so we could go down to Omaha Nebraska the next day to go to the zoo and then drive all the way back to the twin cities. It didn't happen that way. We got to Sioux Falls kind of late (after 10pm) and slept in a little too. We got up and decided to just go back to Falls Park for a while which we did and then made our way back to MN. I got home at about 5pm on Monday evening.

Today, the same friend and I went to the Mall of America to play Pokemon Go and do a little shopping. From there we went to the Burnsville mall and I got pretzels. From there we went to Black Dog road (an old cruising spot we used to frequent in 2007-2010) and finally to a park by my house to play more Pokemon.

Her and I are going to plan a trip to the Badlands and camp there! We want to explore it better. We're also going to plan a trip to Colorado and the grand Canyon. We're hoping to go in late spring or early summer of 2017. I'm tempted to take a long weekend and go down to Omaha to go to the zoo myself at some point. It sounds awesome.

She rented the car we used in SD.

(2 thought; "Why don't you then!?" | "I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Home [17 Jul 2015|11:29pm]
Leaving in the morning. To roll in sometime on Monday evening. I'm shaving a day off this time around. Bringing the guinea pigs with me but will more than likely re-home them once I settle in, and also once the female has delivered. She's halfway through the pregnancy today, 5 weeks. Five more to go. She's big already, so I'm betting there's at least 3 or 4 pups. Her last litter contained only two and she wasn't showing really until week 7.

Glad to be heading home. That's all I can say. Excited to get back to work and start moving forward with my life again.

(1 thought; "Why don't you then!?" | "I wish I knew how to quit you!")

The Plan As Of Now [13 Jun 2015|07:27pm]
I'll Hopefully take my truck in this week to have it fixed just enough to make it home safely (it probably could make it without being looked at but I don't want to take the risk and then have it die somewhere in the panhandle of Oklahoma).
After the truck is fixed, I need to have my lap top looked at. There's an issue with it overheating and shutting down. I hope it's an easy fix that doesn't require money... But nothing in this world is free so I'm sure I screwed there. I don't particularly NEED the lap top to get home but it is nice to be able to look at the same maps as my dad when I call home each night on the journey back (I did that on the way out and it was helpful when planning routes differently than what my GPS unit suggested).
After that all I have to do is pack the truck and call my parents and let them know when I will be begin the trek.
I have acquired things since being here so space will be the last obstacle to overcome. Especially with live animals. I still am not entirely sure how I'm going to sneak them along. It'd be one thing if I had one to smuggle with me but I might have 2 or 3... They squeal pretty loudly so that's the only real worry. Strange squealing in a no-pets-allowed hotel... I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Home [03 Jun 2015|01:28am]
Coming home. Not sure exactly when or how I'm going to pull it off since I'm out of money and do not have an income but I actually can't stand being in California anymore. I am too sad here. My cousin is almost completely indifferent to my presence and hasn't spoken a single word to me in nearly 3 days. I know deep down that he wouldn't care if I left. Probably wouldn't care if I left in the middle of dang night even. I can picture his reaction when he finds out, a day or two will probably pass first before he realizes since he doesn't say anything to me anyhow or check to see if I'm alive or in the apartment, and then he'll raise his eyebrows a bit and maybe nod once or twice and make a sort of "Huh" or "Hm" sound and the go make a cup of coffee, grab three or four granola bars, and go play computer games and not give it a second thought. I've got more scathing things to say but at this point I'm just filled with anger and poison.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

[29 Jan 2015|11:32pm]
Well I've in California for just over 2 months now. I was granted power of attorney and did all the paper signing for the new apartment and also dealt with the movers and basically everything while my cousin was underway. I stood in when the people came to set up the internet and when the maintenance guy came to look at and then install a new garbage disposal (old one was leaking water over the motor and vent fans so it could have shorted out or worse). Things are almost done, my computer will eventually move into my room which sort of bugs me but it does make more sense so I can't really complain.

Things I haven't gotten used to:

The noise of the interstate and other people (I hate children SO much I can't fully express it with words, I have never been more against children than I am right now)
How people drive
How people shop

If I could get a job that'd be great though based on what I've observed in stores, and just in general, working in California is going to be a real treat. The kind that makes you want to celebrate each punch-out at the end of the day with a bleach on the rocks and some 50 caliber aspirin.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Just the Facts [29 Nov 2014|12:50pm]
[ mood | Miserable ]

This is my second day in California and so far, uneventful WOULD be my word of choice to describe it but that would be an insult to the word. I have been so stir crazy and bored I've been wondering if I made the mistake of century. This is NOT my idea of fun. I could/would just drive somewhere and get some supplies but my truck's front left wheel is weird. I'd rather not drive it around unless it's to a mechanic or something. I'm here alone, my cousin is with his girlfriend and I have no idea as to what I can do. Yesterday he was gone all day until about 5pm and I went with him back to his girlfriend's to meet her. Later on he dropped me back off at the apartment and has been gone/with her ever since. I have no idea if and when he's coming back today or tomorrow. It would be a little different if we were in the new 2 bed room apartment because I'd have a little space of my own but no one knows when one will be available. Could be a week from now (and trust me a week will be torturous enough) or two months from now. I thought I knew the true meaning of misery while working at at my old job.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Stuff (nothing useful) [29 Oct 2014|05:24am]
In good old "me" fashion, I've gone a head and decided to learn another language in the midst of probably the most important decision I've made in my life at this point. The language is French. The first word I learned in French (besides c'est la vie and oui and all those other words and phrases that Americans just seem to "know") was bison... Yeah... The big wooly beastie things that used to freely roam the Americas. In case you were curious, it's le bison and no, it's not pronounced "luh by-son" it's more like luh bee-zoon but the n is very peculiar. It's pronounced through your nose as if you had a cold or some such. Moving on..

I figured since I was making an attempt to learn French I thought what better time to learn the cyrillic alphabet???????????? Strangely enough, I think I know more Russian than I do French. At least word wise. I know the words for "peace" "house" "no war" and common greetings etc because where I work there's a pretty large Russian and Ukrainian population.

The other thing was a drawing I started. My computer just loves to crap out on me when I have Paint Tool Sai up and running so I've lost SO many drawings that I liked and thought were pretty good. I never knew I could like a paint program so much. Couple that with my Bamboo tablet and I think I like it better than plain paper and pencils... I started the following drawing just to see if i could draw the helmet because I thought it looked challenging. Then it just kind of turned into a whole person...

Cut for a drawing that's kind of over sizedCollapse )

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Going Again [23 Oct 2014|09:35pm]
Looks like things are moving again. I'm now waiting to hear back from the store I've picked out. It's a 24 hour store and I so am not interested in overnights so I hope they don't tell that's all they have... My first choice store turned out to be a waste of time. The guy that answered the phone sounded awesome and upbeat but the store manager... Whoa. He sounded crude, impatient, and just all around like a jerk. The second store I called was better. The girl that answered the phone seemed nice enough and the store manager there seemed receptive but hurried. She told me to send all my info, including my current store's info via email and that they'd get a hold of me... So now I'm waiting for that. Probably should have put a little note in the email saying to call a little later in the day versus morning but oh well. At least a connection has been made. Things are suddenly so real. A bad example would be in a video game where you go to face the final boss and you walk through a door way and an iron door slides down behind you and locks so you can't leave. That's kind of what's happening here. It's scary because it's new, but it's what I want.

So now I have to tote this damn phone around with me where ever I go in case I get the call.

My parents obviously didn't think I was serious when I told them I was moving (a month ago) they seemed to hear me but they've gone back to saying things like; "When winter gets here, you'll need the sand bags in your truck again." and "Come Christmas, we'll have to go here, and here, do this, this, and that."

I think my parents are banking on my timid nature and reluctance to talk to people and ask for help to keep me in MN. Not to "control" me or boss me around or whatever but they think I'm making a mistake and that I don't know what I'm doing. That I'm not "prepared" enough or fully capable of doing this on my own. That's pushing me to prove them wrong.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Tomorrow (What are you waiting for?) [20 Oct 2014|12:30am]
Well... I'm calling the stores tomorrow. It will decide if I continue working with the company I've been with for the last 7.5 years. After tomorrow I'll know the date I depart (give or take 1 week) Minnesota for California without so much as a mattress, table, or dish. It's very much a "the clothes on my back and records in a grocery bag" kind of move. My family thinks it was a bluff when I told them I'm leaving. Not sure how it's going to go down when I actually leave.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Arm's all healed [10 Oct 2014|05:21am]
My sliced and diced wrist is all healed but there's still a large maroon mark in it's place which just screams and begs from the tops of mountains for people ask if I'm a cutter and "BB are U OK?!"
I assume I'll have a scar for the rest of my life. I'll call it my receipt for being a dumb ass, much like the tattoo about 12 inches away from it which just turned 8 years old on October 2nd.
I listed the most expensive thing I own besides my truck for sale on Ebay. It's a doll. If I'm lucky It'll go for the starting price. If I want real shot at making it to the golden state of lovely CA than someone will have to go a head with the BIN button. It wouldn't have to be like that but my truck decided it wanted about $700.00 of my money for an issue with the anti-lock brakes. I thought I could live with the problem which was much more like a slight inconvenience but when I nearly drove off the Arizona level parking ramp at the Mall of America while on a quest to temporarily console my insatiable quest for stuff because the brakes decided to completely freeze I decided it was time to get things taken care of.
I do get paid 3 times this month. This is great news. I can pay off the bill in one fell swoop. Besides that I continue to live out of boxes and practice living out of plastic show box organizers.
My QT Mark Messier autograph has been placed in it's temporary frame and I hate it. What I thought would happen has definitely happened. The photo looks warped, like it got wet. It most certainly hasn't, but the frame is cheap and has no matting so it looks sloppy and very college dorm-chic. I look at frames where ever I go and finding a frame that mats DOWN to 16x20 is hard. There are tons of 16x20 frames but they all mat down to 11x14... Not sure what I'm going to do.

I found my first Sims 3 legacy family tree. The last name was Dark Star and my first Sim was named Knives. He married his rich neighbor Holly and they had 3 kids named Marisol, Prodigy, and Flouretta. Prodigy was the one to carry the legacy on. His son Athenos came next, then Ponyboy, Elk Heart, Harvey-Danger, Bemidji, Hogshead, and Royale. Then I ran into a problem. The Sims 3 prided it's self on being this game where your Sims' kids could keep going and reproducing but after so many generation things get buggy. Royale's vampire wife Tawanna (which was actually one of Royale's distant as hell aunts, back up near gen 3 (accounting for why she was still alive too)) was pregnant with the final generation. The jewel in my legacy crown but then she just never gave birth to the child. A bug prevented her from doing it. On top of that I wasn't able to leave the household because of another bug. It was seriously fucked up. I couldn't move, travel, nothing. Then, the icing on the miserable dirt cake came in the form of Royale dying. I couldn't bring him back to life, or quit without saving and start over. Since his wife was still pregnant I wouldn't have been able to do anything anyway. It was infuriating! I worked so hard on it. I've tried doing the legacy challenge multiple times since then but I just never got that into it again. maybe I'll try with the Sims 4 if I ever get that game.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

[26 Sep 2014|12:04am]

Mostly for size reference. It's next to the hockey injury Tumblr I run. I tried playing with the color balancing tools and brightness/contrast but there's just no getting around my orange overheard room lights. It's awful. I can't wait to find a frame for this! This is a result (the first actually) of my new "Sell 5, buy 1" rule where I can buy something new only when I've sold 5 old items. There's still a net LOSS of property (good) and my insatiable quest for stuff is entertained (extra good).

(1 thought; "Why don't you then!?" | "I wish I knew how to quit you!")

[25 Sep 2014|05:13am]

I found an 1885 Indian Head penny at work. It's smooth but not as bad as this picture makes it look. I've also found a Mercury dime at work about a year ago.

I bought an autograph about a week ago and I'm expecting it later today. I am very excited! But I need to find a 16x20 frame for it. I looked at a Walmart but they didn't have anything near that size. I might have to try going to Michael's.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

13 On and 13 Off [13 Sep 2014|03:21am]
Edit: I guess this is my 1,111th entry in this journal.

I cut apart 3 Jellycat plush animals and made 3 chimera plush out of the pieces. Since this picture was taken I've removed the tail and sewn on the rabbit tail.

So you know how you can cut butter or cheese with a piece of string if you hold the ends tightly? Yes? Well that's how I got this injury. I was doing laundry and a piece of elastic got wrapped around a sheet in the washer so I wrapped it around my wrist and yanked it as hard as I could after trying patiently to untangle it for .3 seconds (pro tip: I have no patience). I didn't even feel it I was so angry. When I hold my arm up to a dark background I see the canyon in my wrist. It's deep. It looks like I'm wearing a bloody, seeping bracelet. I'm kind of lucky I didn't hit any veins. That would have been a trip to the ER.

A MN North Stars shirt I'm repairing. The seam on the collar is popped in two places and it has a couple of moth (or ripped on something sharp) holes. I can fix the seams fine but I'm not sure I can do anything about the holes. I got 100% pure silk thread but the color I got was wrong (you'd think if the fabric where you were going to sew was mostly black you'd use black thread but god no, it has to be white or gray)
Even if I can't fix the holes I still really like it. It's provenance alone is amazing, even if I don't know what it is entirely. The shirt was obviously loved. It was in St. Paul so it didn't travel far. I'm glad it can enjoy it's retirement with me, where it will be admired the rest of it's days.

Aside from all that I've been listening to a ton of Fleetwood Mac and packing like a fool. I've even started packing things I won't take. Things I either don't have room for or things I know I won't need but can't get rid of. I wan't to make sure that when I leave, there will be minimal signs that I ever lived. I've also decided that I simply can't put it off any more, I MUST have those 3 autographs. I plan on buying the first one (the cheap one) next week, unless I can scrounge up more money via Ebay sales but I'm not holding my breath.

9/11 this year marked 13 years gone. I have now lived the same amount of time withOUT the twin towers existing as I did WITH them. I will ALWAYS remember where I was and what I was doing when I heard the news. I don't think I'll ever forget the shimmering, confetti like appearance of all that paper floating to the ground. That's what haunts me the most... All that damn paper slowly and so gently fluttering to the ground, shining in the sun. It was such a gorgeous morning.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Well Heaven Heard the News Today [15 Aug 2014|05:14am]

I can almost envision Williams pushing aside a starry curtain somewhere in the universe to reveal a dimly lit room with a table and a bunch of chairs, all filled by other comedians, like George Carlin is there, Richard Pryor, Mitch Hedberg, Chris Farley etc, and they're all playing cards when Williams walks in and then one of them kicks a chair out for him and he sits down to join them.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Might as Well [06 Aug 2014|03:36am]
"No one really cares if you're miserable so you might as well be happy"

I think this is an awesome way to approach life, but for me, no one cares if I'm happy either, lol. I am completely ignored by virtually everyone whether I'm cheering on my grandfather who had a stroke or if I'm hinting at committing murder.

With being on everyone's "ignore" list I've started to act more like how my inner monologue sounds. Maybe that's why more and more people have been shying away. They are finally seeing that maybe I'm not as nice as they all claimed. And they were so sure. They told me to my face that I was wrong. I could list all the awful things I've done on purpose and they'd just smile and say "no, you're a nice person." I had been under the impression that *I* knew me better than anyone else but whatever I guess.

Maybe it's just me and my inability to be ignored. I've done several experiments, the only time people comment or acknowledge me on Facebook* is when I post things that are extremely stupid. Things so stupid I want to drown myself in one of my fish tanks. Baby talking to my goldfish makes me feel smarter and believe me, baby talking to a goldfish is as heinous as it sounds. Although my koi becomes visibly excited when I talk to him like that. I know koi are smarter than regular goldfish so maybe he can hear better when I talk in a stupid high pitched voice, I don't know. *I'm never acknowledged in real life but I attribute that to hiding the fact that I have a cell phone (two people have my number) and I never accepted invitations from people in my teen years to go places so no one even tries anymore now that I'm an adult which incidentally is fine because I STILL wouldn't accept because I hate noise.

My iPod officially does not charge anymore. I thought it might be a cord issue so I tried one at work to no avail. When I plug it into the USB port on my computer a box pops up saying "this device is not recognized" or something like that. The battery icon on the iPod lights up but then the screen goes dark and it doesn't charge. I used to be able to plug the USB in and then unplug it 10-10000 times and it would EVENTUALLY "catch" and start charging but it just doesn't do that now. I think it's utter bullshit too. The computer KNOWS something with a battery is plugged in (hence the battery lighting up on the god damned iPod screen) but won't charge it. I find that so fucking irritating. I don't give a shit if you don't "recognize" what's plugged in, CHARGE MY SHIT. Someone I work with mentioned World of Wireless, but I just checked out their site and they seem to fix screens only. My issue is the bottom of my iPod where the charging cord plugs in and where the earphone jack is. The white plastic is cracked and I think the port where the charging cord is plugged in is stripped or broken. Not sure WoW can help me with that.

I finally got my shirt too. I waited a long time for this.

(2 thought; "Why don't you then!?" | "I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Expecting More [31 Jul 2014|08:24pm]
I've never been social or bubbly. I have no problem saying that. I only had 37 Facebook friends, all of which I knew in person except for 1 (but we met on the fish forum). I was by NO means expecting every single friend to comment on my status announcing my plans to move to California. I think only 4 people acknowledged that status. I was a little taken aback. I waited a few days before saying anything about the move again but when I did, zero acknowledgments. Nothing. I realize some people are busy and not using Facebook at all during the summer, and I excuse the few who noticed the previous status but that still leaves about 30 people who use Facebook regularly and either saw it and ignored it, or those who hadn't noticed at all. Call me selfish or childish but I was expecting more people to notice. I wasn't expecting people to make lavish comments or say how jealous they are etc etc. That's not what I wanted at all. I just thought a "like" or a quick "have fun" would have been nice. I think I caught a little glimpse of who actually gives a damn. And it surprised me.

On a lighter note, a watched a YouTube video of people doing Parkour/free running and now I want to start doing that! The nice part is, you don't have to buy any equipment to practice. In fact, one instructional video suggested practicing barefoot because you'll get immediate feedback from lands or any falls you make/miss which will help prevent you from doing too much too early on.

In the spirit of excitement and in a moment of inspiration I thought I'd do a somersault. Now the last time I did a somersault all my bones creaked and I was injured. This time, it went great so I did a second one right after the first... I was so dizzy and disoriented that I decided to lay flat to prevent passing out. It was awful. And to think I used to be in dance class and do crap like that all the time. No time like the present though.

I don't know what the move is called but my favorite move is when a person takes a running jump using their hands to help them vault and then they use their hands a second time on the next hurdle and not use their feet. I think it's called a cat jump or something. I don't know. It's cool looking.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

[26 Jul 2014|11:14pm]
I've had a busy last couple of weeks. Selling stuff on Ebay, packing for the move and my grandpa had a stroke last Sunday morning. It's been a full 7 days now since it happened (ok almost 7 days) and he's started therapy at the Sister Kenny rehab institute which is it's own wing at United Hospital. There's only 9 beds or so and not anyone is allowed in apparently. Only those who show promise of a near full or completely full recovery. I KNOW doctors don't throw around phrases like "You have great potential to get back EVERYTHING you lost" and "You can make a 100% recovery" but that's what they're saying and it's all due to his otherwise great health. That was awesome news to hear. He always called his mother a "laid back Swede" and she enjoyed excellent health in her 86 years and my grandpa totally inherited that healthy longevity from her. He didn't get any of her relaxed nature though lol. He got ALL of his father's temper. That's going to serve him well though, he'll be motivated to push through all the therapy and get walking again. He was in the hospital less than 24 hours and was already able to move his "dead" knee a little bit so I'm hopeful.

I was getting ready to leave for work earlier today and I bumped into the power strip that houses my fish filter and it stopped working! I tried plugging that damn thing in every outlet but just wouldn't start. I was so mad, I was was like "I don't have TIME for this!" But I dug out a bubble wand and put that in the tank so they'd at least have air while I was at work. It figures too because I JUST threw out all my old filters thinking I'd never need them.... In all my years of fish keeping I've NEVER had a Penguin Bio-Wheel check out on me. They're not the cheapest filters either but I like them because they're external filters. I don't like the ones that hang IN the tank because it takes away swimming space from the goobers. Not sure about a replacement yet. Wish I had a money tree...

I bought a reborn doll (more like a trade because I never used money from my bank account, it was all done after I sold things on Ebay and had money in my Paypal account). She's awesome. I can't believe how fun it is dressing her! Way more fun (and easier) than the ball jointed dolls. I still have multiple bjds to sell.

This CA moving stuff is getting so real. One minute I feel ready and then the next I wonder what I've gotten myself into. I STILL haven't told my parents I'm about to up and leave MN for CA. They are probably gonna flip tables.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Pictures [16 Jul 2014|04:54am]
Here's some pictures;


Paint Tool Sai (coolest paint program ever)

Done with Prismacolor pencils


I just started reading this.

The Upper Deck jerseys fit LittleFees but I had to pop his dumb little head off to get it on him. Never again.

(2 thought; "Why don't you then!?" | "I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Goodbye [16 Jul 2014|01:53am]
"The Law of Conservation of Mass states that matter can be changed from one form into another, mixtures can be separated or made, and pure substances can be decomposed, but the total amount of mass remains constant"

Fodder for starsCollapse )

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Hurt at work [15 Jul 2014|09:46pm]
Thought I'd compile all the images I've taken of my self at work after getting hurt. 99% of the time I don't even know what I hit my hands on to cause this. Plus I bleed, a lot. I attempted to donate blood so they did the finger prick to check iron levels or something and my count was too low so she said she could try the other hand, the counts were still too low so I couldn't donate but she accidentally hit a vein or some such because it was bleeding almost profusely.. Blood wasn't shooting out of my finger but it did saturate the little band-aid I had so the girl was like; "Let me get you a better band-aid." LOL. Haven't tried donating since. Also, after a couple of days the "bleeding finger" was still occasionally leaking blood and serum. The human body is disgusting and so cool. Especially blood.

Bloody hands this wayCollapse )

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Sick [15 Jul 2014|08:52pm]
I caught a cold or some other upper respiratory infection. I remember the moment it came on actually. Throat hurt pretty bad for a couple days which then morphed into a scratchy throat with a really dry cough, plus now both of my ears are hurting and my head hurts and I don't hear well. I've been taking decongestants and they seemed to be helping but now today I haven't noticed a difference. I don't have a fever but I feel like garbage. I've been feeling a little nausea but I assume that's from all the mucus and phlegm (eww!!). Haven't had much of an appetite either and when I think I'm hungry and get some food I suddenly feel sick and don't want to eat at all *huge eye roll* I don't want it to turn into an ear infection because I don't take medicine and if it DOES turn into an ear infection then I HAVE to take medicine because I don't want my eardrum to rupture like my mom's when she had an ear infection... I'm also against having Strep. I'm pretty sure it's NOT Strep though, I'd be in way more pain if it was -I know- I filled my Strep quota for life when I was a kid and got it 2-4 times a year. Then I had my tonsils out at 11 and have had it once. I'd like to keep it that way.

Side note: There's a Total Hockey really close to the pet store I go to. I kind of want to go in there.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Objects of Desire [06 Jul 2014|06:56pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Well I knew I wanted a particular autograph but then I got the genius idea to see what other's are available via Steiner Sports and found ANOTHER one that I want. This new one I want costs nearly four times LESS than first one but it's still an expense I didn't really need. I simply have to have it though. In fact, I'll probably get that one first.

I have a few things listed on Ebay right now and will hopefully sell the 2 more expensive items (the cheap, borderline worthless ones always seem to sell with no trouble) because that will allow me get my autograph without having to access my checking account at all and that's a good thing. I'm supposed to be saving for hotel's and things related to moving since I have the rest of July, all of August, and 1 to 3 weeks of September to finish everything and arrive in California and then basically be ready to work 1 or two days after rolling in.

I've been doing good with packing I think. I've gone through my dresser and packed up all the things I want but know I won't wear between now and then so I still have 2 drawers that contain the things I still wear, 3 are empty. I've emptied my kitchen drawer, taken all my glassware, taken nearly all of my stuff from the basement, and have packed up all the CDs. I have a plastic tote ready for computer stuff (don't want the computer stuff in cardboard) but am already worried about space in my truck. I STILL haven't measured my boxes to see if they'll even FIT in the back of my truck with the cover down and locked. I'm starting to wonder if maybe sending 1 or two boxes through the mail would be a good idea. Nothing huge of course but if I have a straggler box of clothes or something and it's somewhat light weight, I could just mail it to my new address.

Still nervous about my pets. I'm wondering if I could pay my parents to look after my two fish tanks. I don't know if they'd go for it... They're always going on about how tired they are of their birds...

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Secret Life of Katie [24 Jun 2014|11:15pm]
Katie Bird is a vintage Cabbage Patch Kid doll from the mid 80's. Born and living a life before me. She's older than I am. Sold in Minnesota? Maybe, no guarantees. I am partial to old and worn things and have an absolute affinity for it's provenance, and not just the manufacture details (though I love knowing those as well and luckily have that info on Katie) Unfortunately I don't know who owned Katie before me, or how many owned her before me. I don't even know her original name and no Cabbage patch doll can remember it's own name once separated from it's factory adoption papers.
I acquired Katie at a Unique thrift store for a few dollars in early June. She was face down on the shelf dressed in a gray outift with fishnet sleeves and a yellow band around the waist (after a bit of research I found the outfit is missing leggings, legwarmers, and shoes). She was pretty dirty and held her at arm's length until I could wash her.

The earliest picture I have of her. I wish I'd taken a few "before" pictures but oh well.

What I do know for sure is that Katie was made in the Perfecta factory, in China. Perfecta 'kids supposedly had well formed hands and long bodies. Honestly, I don't see much of a difference and I have laid her out next to other Perfecta 'kids in addition to KT, OK, SS, J, and other 'kids. Perfecta was also known for making "sun tanned" dolls and Katie definitely has this trait. Some were also prone to a certain type of mold that infiltrated the vinyl heads giving the dolls spots, usually referred to as "pox" amongst collectors. Luckily, Katie didn't get pox. There is no treatment or cure. All that can be done really is repainting the head or putting human makeup over the spots. It's an eerie condition that has levels of "severity" and makes the dolls look truly ill. Pox isn't contagious but I'm superficial and refuse to adopt any pox 'kids due to the fear of the mold somehow spreading to my "healthy" dolls.


That's me sitting and applying benzoyl peroxide with a cotton swab to all the ink spots that Katie had on her face which the Magic Eraser wouldn't take off. I feared the ink was going to be a permanent feature but the acne medicine worked amazingly well and I highly recommend it for removing ink stains from vinyl. I even applied it to her cheeks, which have pink "blush" on them and the cream didn't damage the paint at all. Overall very pleased with how well it went. I've read stories of people needing to reapply the stuff 5 or 6 times and then leave it on the doll for up to a month and then have to set the doll in direct sunlight or under a lamp for the intense heat and god damn, all I did was smudge some on her spots and let her sit overnight, in the dark, and the ink was magically gone in less than 10 hours.



Wearing Coleco bloomers, socks, and shoes with a Hasbro dress in both of these pictures. The dress is actually a childhood item that I played with with my BBB CPK doll. Ironically, BBB's fetch pretty high prices on Ebay but I'd never sell mine in a million years.


Wearing the above bloomers with the proper Coleco dress. I'm not up on the factories that Coleco commissioned to produce CPK clothing but this dress is tagged CC factory, China.

tl;dr this post is about a doll.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Wouldn't You Know It [23 Jun 2014|05:10am]
Saw a listing on Ebay for TWO Tsukada CPK's a little while ago. No clothes, and one looked like it's loop hair had been cut or pulled but it was a REALLY good deal. I so would have jumped on them but my Paypal account is empty D: And I'm not touching my bank account anymore until after the big stuff is done and over. I haven't even checked to see if they're still available because I know if they ARE, I'll just want them more and if they're gone... I'll be mad that I didn't buy them. I shouldn't be so damn greedy though, I did win an auction for a Tsukada just days ago. Based on the provided shipping info I should have her by Friday. I hope so anyway, supposedly I paid for "expedited shipping" yet it gave the arrival time frame of June 27-July 14..... If you could only see my disgusted face. That's more bogus than finding shit in the mop bucket at work, which I've had the terrible misfortune of experiencing.

It's been about 1 day since I made my signal flag cards and I can pretty much name all the flags in any order. A couple I know the meaning of as well. For some reason I struggled with Kilo and Echo and if I ever miss some when I'm zipping through the stack, those are usually in the "miss" pile.


Uniform, Yankee, and India respectively.

Incidentally, the Bloodhound Gang song Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo didn't help me learn.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

The Year So Far [22 Jun 2014|03:31am]
After much searching, I have finally found and subsequently won, a Tsukuda Cabbage patch doll. Tsukuda made CPK's are pretty rare and when they do pop up one can expect to pay up or trade one of their own children as payment etc. The one I found has a little wear and has had her stitching fixed up in a couple places so I got her cheap at about $55.00. She is after all, in pretty good shape for being 30 years old.



One of the defining characteristics of Tsukuda's is that their eye paint resembles a butterfly. Now I've seen some Kader factory kids and even a couple Jesmar's that have eye paint that look pretty similar but nothing compares to the Japanese kids. I cannot WAIT to have her in hand!

I went a head and made my ICS flash cards anyway. The thrift store find had a poster in addition to a deck of cards and the poster was fine but the deck was weird. I don't like it, so on my lunch break I cut and taped a set. It's only been a day and I can match about 70% of the flags with their corresponding word. I quizzed myself and failed Kilo, November, Papa, Romeo, Uniform, Victor, Whiskey, and Yankee. However, this is while the deck is in alphabetical order. I imagine that mixing them up will make things more difficult. There are several flags however, that I know the names of in addition to their meanings and those include India, Oscar, Xray, and Zulu.

I'm going to modify/convert? an old AM radio so that it can receive shortwave frequencies because I've always been fascinated with uvb-76 and thought it would be cool to have a Buzzer Machine. Apparently, the smaller the radio, the less likely it is to work but I still want to try. I want it to be small and portable and not the size of a ghetto blaster. I have all the tools I need to convert it, I'm pretty decent with a soldering pen so I don't think it'll be too hard. Speaking of soldering, I should finish my LED flashlight soldering project.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

[21 Jun 2014|04:49am]
More and more I'm starting to believe in the idea that things, ideas, people etc. will find you when the time is right and that it's a waste of time to go searching. Like, for real man. I've always liked memorizing sets of data or lists of things and when I was a bit younger it was memorizing country flags. I could rattle off so many damn flags and no one cared except me, but that was alright. About a week ago I decided for the second or third time that I really wanted to learn all the international maritime signal flags so I bought a pack of blank flash cards and planned to illustrate each one because I figured having to draw and color them all could only help me learn. I tested one out at work and drew India but was extremely disappointed to find that all the color bled through to the other side.
I was at a thrift store a few hours ago doing exactly what I shouldn't (looking for dolls) and then I saw:


Whaaaaaat? I wasn't even looking for something like this!

This even has cards for morse code and combining signals and the positions to hold them in. It's basically everything you'd ever want in a signal flag learning kit, and more. I am literally going to devour this tonight.

One other thing:


I lost power (CURSES TO XCEL) during the little storm a couple days ago so I wandered around my house in the dark with a flashlight and wasted time by shining it on things. Grazed my mini disco ball and.... HOLY GRAIL visual sensory input. I took a video of it too, moving the flashlight in circles. It looked like sun shining in moving water. Never mind all the crap stacked up... I was packing but then I needed something...

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

Stranger things have happened [15 Jun 2014|12:27am]
I was at the gas station last night. It was kind of windy and I was minding my own business amongst the pumps. I didn't see a guy in a cowboy hat get into his red truck at first. What compelled me to peer over my shoulder was his loud country music, or rather just to see the source vehicle of something so loud. That's when I noticed the cowboy hat and pressed, collared shirt; and that his truck was red. Just like mine. It might have been mostly dusk, and he obviously was in a parking spot a good distance away from me but I could tell he was looking at my truck, and then at me, thinking maybe that I don't look like the type of person to drive a truck. His truck had a cover on it like mine does. Then he climbed into his vehicle and backed out of the spot but instead of driving off, he paused and looked closer. That's when I turned around more and looked at him and his truck. There was this slight lock-eyed gaze and then he kind of sped off then with his country music blasting. I watched him drive away and wondered if he was watching me too. He looked a little out of place honestly. I mean, MN is pretty far north to be dressed a cowboy and behaving like one. He wasn't being obnoxious but he was flashy. My attention would have been more focused on him had he been wearing a hockey jersey. It seemed like there was a bit of red truck camaraderie going on. It was strange. Normally I don't look at people, even if they're looking directly at me, even if they're waving in an attempt to get my attention. Maybe it was his red truck. I should have looked at his license plate to see if it was out of state. I think it would be funny to see him again. I would definitely recognize him even though I didn't see his face very well.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

10 years [14 Jun 2014|04:41pm]
10 years ago today I was in England. Not sure what I was doing (I'd have to dig out the itinerary) but I know it was sunny and warm. Today is not sunny or warm, and I am not in England. It's a sad day. I have to get ready to go to work soon. To a job where I've had my hours cut so much it's almost a joke to continue working.
The Kings won the Stanley Cup and I took that as a good omen since I'm moving out that way. At least I think I am. I have a lot packed but I haven't put in a formal request for transfer at work yet. Mostly because I can't give a potential new store an exact start date at this point. It would be great if I could talk to my cousin about it but he's somewhere around the southern most part South America in the ocean.

My hobby hobby has led my to Coleco Cabbage Patch dolls. In a short amount of time I have amassed a metric ton of these homely dolls that only a couple are worth saving. Now I have to sell the rest which would take forever but I'm going to cheat and sell them as a lot. The idea was to get rid of everything. I'm keeping my childhood one of course and my two Jesmar dolls plus one I found at a thrift store. She had blue ink all over her face and I got it off using benzoyl peroxide cream.

There's something else I want... It's an autograph. Delayed gratification is not one of my strong points so saving for it has not been easy. I have one gold mine left and that's my limited edition Heliot doll I got in 2009. I have other $600.00+ dolls but the Heliot is the jewel in the crown. My problem is that I don't know HOW I should sell him. Complete set or break it all up and auction him off in pieces. Either way I should probably make a decision because who knows how long the autograph will be available for?

Decision making... Another one of my weakest points... Some people just don't change. I used to long for the day when I would change and become this efficient, productive, well adjusted adult but it never happened. Then I realized that I had to be the one to do it. That led to the realization that I just wasn't motivated enough to change. So now I just keep quiet because who wants to hear people complain? Especially when that person had/has the power to change but didn't want to or try?? I made my proverbial bed and now I'm laying in it. I don't like it, but I don't hate it enough to do something about it. That's sad.

("I wish I knew how to quit you!")

spring Stuff [26 May 2014|03:05pm]
I really loved Tamagotchi virtual pets in the 90's and had about 30 of them. I still have them actually. Recently I went on Ebay and started looking some and discovered some I had not seen before. One was called Tamagotchi Devil and was for sale for $400.00!!!!!!! WOW. I did not buy it. Way too much money! I did find another one I had not heard of called Tamagotchi Ocean and you raise a fish-like creature. I bought that one. It's very cool. But the hefty $135.00 price tag was painful.. It turns out there are many kinds of Tamagotchis that never came to the USA. I want to collect them all!!! (I have 3 non-US ones; Ocean, Mori, and Tamaotch) I want Mothra, Devil, and the special Asian edition ones.

I'm doing good with packing but am running into the issue of what I want to take with me and what I want to leave. I can't expect my family to store a ton of stuff although I know they'd be happy to store one or two boxes high up in a closet. No limit was established on how long I'll be gone though I've somehow managed to come up with one year being the max time I will be gone. I'm not entirely sure how I came up with that but maybe it's because I like to know an entire story from start to finish. It gives this whole new experience a definitive end with no "I don't know" room. Since I don't like surprises, that's my final answer. But it could easily be longer so I'm stuck with what to bring and what not to bring. Will I need it?

Work continues to be a dead-end experience. Many people are encouraging me to find assembly line work or work in a factory setting but 1) That won't work out as well when I leave and 2) It seems all factory or assembly line work is very far away from me and would be a waste to drive so far every day. I have similar reasons regarding school.

I may go skydiving this summer. There's a place right across the MN border in WI that does tandem drops etc. so I might do that with an old friend/coworker. We'll see, skydiving is expensive, and it's not like you go to the place, jump into a harness and then get in the plane and head up into the sky. No. You have to go through a class on safety and whatnot and the whole deal lasts like 3 or 4 hours. I think a basic safety run down would be enough for some people. Like me, who really doesn't have plans to ever jump alone. I suppose they have to though, you are jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft with nothing but a piece of sewn fabric and ropes attached to you. I imagine it does look absolutely batshit insane to most people. It's something I want to do in this lifetime though.

(1 thought; "Why don't you then!?" | "I wish I knew how to quit you!")

[15 Feb 2014|02:15am]
I somehow managed to mess up my computer pretty bad and in my effort to fix it I wiped it clean and lost every single file that was on it. Every image, every drawing, every document, every single illegal movie and tv show episode I've ever downloaded, gone. I was so dumbfounded I didn't get mad. My Minecraft file is gone, every short story, internet book mark (I followed at least 35 blogs), everything. I've been restoring what I can with the some of my sd cards and flash drives but it's noting current.

All I wanted was to fix the reason why my computer was shutting down without warning (for no apparent reason) and to fix why the cd player wouldn't launch when I would put a cd in the computer :[ Now everything is different, the welcome screen sucks too. It's gray and sad, I miss the bright blue one with birds.

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