| Every long lost dream |
[15 Dec 2009|05:50am] |
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God Blessed the Broken Road |
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"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."
Well, I'm off to bed with Oscar Wilde, 'night. Er.. 'Mornin rather.
EDIT: This is journal entry number 999.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| No |
[14 Dec 2009|03:35pm] |
Going to work but I don't want to. Would rather stay home and play Zelda all night, then go to bed at a reasonable hour and get UP at a time when I usually go to sleep and see DAYTIME for once, instead of night time. I do it in the months of Aug-Oct for the renaissance festival maybe I should start doing that all the time.
About to start reading The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. Have my Oscar Wilde action figure too. Still in the box but he's cool anyway.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| Mr. Brightside? |
[13 Dec 2009|12:27am] |
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music |
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Mr. Brightside |
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Someone broke into the porch last night and hid. Saw the footprints in the snow leading from the back corner of the yard up and into the porch. No footprints anywhere else in the porch so they didn't move around much. Cops said there had been a crashed party on the next block over and when they were running, one probably picked our house at random.
Kurt is showing real signs of improvement. Her scales are just about laying perfectly flat again. She's got more energy too, and is moving around more. Her eye doesn't look so cottony anymore. IF she does make a FULL recovery she will susceptible to the same kinds of infections for the rest of her life but she's only 3 years old. She should have another good 5 to 7 years in her.
Kurt is in the second white bucket on the floor. All that mess sitting around her bucket is allll for her. Meds, syphon hoses, water conditioner, extra buckets for fresh water, a net, and a turkey baster I use to suck up old food or big pieces of poo :D because some goldfish form the nasty habit of eating poo. There's another fish in the first bucket but she isn't sick, just QTed before she goes in the 120 gallon tank.
Here's my Russian Tortoise. She's a hoot. She was Bowser for Halloween.
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(1 thought; "Why don't you then!?" | "I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| Also bad |
[09 Dec 2009|12:23am] |
Den of Angels has bent me over it's knee and had it's way with me for the last time. I'm no longer a member. There is so much bull shit that leaks from the mods of that website it's amazing America cannot somehow manage to harness the energy it creates and power the state New York and California at lEAST. The very foundation of that forum is a large heap of steamy bull shit. Bull shit fountains from the mouths' of all who speak high of the place. I bet you 85% of the 10k + members have taken it up the ass from at least 1 of those Nazi fuck mods. It's really a shame they feel they need to treat the members so harshly.
It's snowing. A LOT. Only slid through 1 stop sign on the way into work. Average amount of customers. You can always count on sleeziest, nastiest people to come in during bad weather. Nothing can keep the filth of humanity away. It's as if in addition to scum and debris running through their veins they have this sort of cockroach-like survival mentality. Always hanging around with one of those filthy, missing tooth, shit eating grins on their ugly faces as if saying; "Thought you could lose me in all that snow didn't you? SURPRISE!"
It's so beautiful though. I love fresh snow. So calming and clean and healthy looking. Might go out in it. Might not. I always hate messing up the fresh fallen snow with foot prints.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| Bad |
[08 Dec 2009|04:13am] |
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Jefferson Airplane: White Rabbit |
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What a horrible day. Everything was going wrong. Just everything. Running my mouth off first thing this morning over the internet of all things *nice one dumb-ass*.....
Someone at work was PISSING me off. And then doing it just get an even bigger rise out of me.
Another friend has adandoned me *I never do learn*
Now Kurt is dying too. ONCE AGAIN, I will soon have ONE goldfish living in the 120 gallon tank. I give the *currently* healthy goldfish TWO fucking months.
Christ.
Been rounding up all my extra doll stuff and have listed most of it for sale on DOA *god I hate DOA* but I still need to put pics of everything up *lame*.
There's supposed to be a big snow storm starting later today. I seriously HOPE it starts AFTER I get to work. I have no problem driving home in the dark with ass-loads of snow but driving TO work poses a potential problem. I have to be to work at a certain time, I can't putter along like an 89 year old on the way in! I'll get in trouble. And anyway I like driving in fresh snow/storms at night. There's basically no traffuck so I can speed up and slam on the breaks and spin around all I want (which I do). I can also slide through stop signs too. Savage cops out in the snow? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Nice one! I'm glad the crap held off this long. I hate snow on the ground for longer than 3 months or so. It sucks when it snows in October or November and hangs around into MAY. *eye roll*
My dresser is looking more and more like a hippie alter all the time. Since I hung the new tapestry (looks like LSD induced kaleidoscope images) and put up my lime green lava lamp, other items have been showing up on the dresser. Like crayons and coloring books. All it needs now is my incense burner or a hookah and we'd be set :D I wouldn't ever use it. I'm to afraid to smoke anything but would swallow 3 hits of acid like it was a vitamin. Where is the sense in that?
Ever since seeing Platoon, the very start of the song White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane (before the vocals start) reminds of the scene where Taylor has his "first time" smoking in the tent with Elias and Rhah and King and the others. It will ALWAYS remind me of Platoon now. Always.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| Better. |
[04 Dec 2009|01:51am] |
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Pet Shop Boys: Love Etc. |
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Ok, I'm feeling a little less psychotically depressed after getting paid and seeing my checking account back in the black and out of the red. While waiting for midnight to roll up in it's white Cadillac I even started cleaning up my room.
I pushed the BEAST of a 55 gallon tank OUT of my closet and into my parents living room. I found it quite irritating when they came into MY room, and shoved it into MY closet. I WANTED it in the middle of my floor so I would remember to shit-can it but then all of a sudden they come in and ram it in my closet :\ You know to get it "out of the way". So I gutted my closet and pushed the thing out into their living space.
Condensed another card board box and a basket of crap into one plastic tote (now safe from the yucky mold taking over my closet). My plan is to condense ALL my belongings down and into totes so when I finally make up my mind about the military I can stack my shit somewhere and it won't take up much space and then no one has to deal with it. I've been thinking about the military for 5+ years now and have only been serious about it for the last year and a half. But even after I condense all my crap and get on bc I still have the tasks of getting in "pre-shape" and selecting a branch. Luckily I've got it narrowed down to two but still, I wouldn't be against hearing about the others.
Starting to decide on which larger dolls I'm going to sell. Definitely going to sell my LeekeWorld Mihael. I've had him for 6 months and I still haven't cleaned him, restrung him, or removed his old eyelashes/face-up. And anyway, I took his eyes out and since then he's been sitting in a heap of blankets in my upstairs closet without eyes.
Some of the smaller ones won't be as hard to sell. The Naripon, extra face plates, little outfits, shoes, extra hands etc. etc. Probably going to sell my RealPuki too, I could still get what I paid for her if I do it soon. She's cute as shit but just to small. So dainty. And I was wrong. The Soso sculpt is WAAAAAAY cuter. But at nearly $300.00 I could have bought a MNF. Exactly the dolls I've fallen in love with.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| Disgusting. |
[03 Dec 2009|04:10pm] |
So besides being NEGATIVE $181.00 in my checking account I'm just GREAT. Fucking over draft charges. I started out as negative $6.00 but apparently, it takes already completed transactions some time before they're posted. So after I spent the money and noticed I didn't have much left I QUIT spending money only to discover it was to late.
Life is empty and meaningless to begin with but this is like another delightful scoop of SHIT on the shit bowl of ice cream that is life.
I think I like the MSD sized dolls the best. Turning over the idea of selling all my big guys and going for the 41-45cm size rather than the 60-75cm range. WAY easier to manage. Plus I love Fairyland's sculpts.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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[02 Dec 2009|12:25am] |
I guess a little bitching goes a long way :\ I got Christmas Eve and Day off. I handed in my letter of resignation from the position of SBA and was expecting to get a severe tongue lashing on Monday when I would see my boss again. Instead of getting called in to the office and bent over the company's knee and violated I was awarded my 3 year pin. Yes, 3 years of being an indentured servant. I hardly knew what to make of it. And my boss still hasn't said a thing about any of it... I'm a little nervous as to why. I'm sure I'll pay for this later on in some way I just don't know yet.
In other news, my dad went to the post office for me and picked up my doll. The only reason he went was because there was a tiny chance the package was for my mother even though I told him very seriously that it was 99.9% my package. He went anyway so when I rolled out of bed Pesha was sitting on the table waiting for me. I've never had an "MSD" sized doll before. They're so... convenient. He's big enough to handle without the fear of dropping or losing him but small enough to take places without needing to use a seat belt to hold him in place in the car. I really like his sculpt. His eyes are set far apart (I find set-apart eyes attractive) and his mouth is wide (also attractive). I might use my dad's dremel and open his eyes TINY bit. He almost looks like he's squinting. AOD sent him with a pair of STUNNING gray-lavender glass eyes but they are WAY to big for him. They also sent a wig with him! I can't remember if that was included in the price or if that was a "gift". It's nice, but it's black. He's a white skin doll so the contrast of his snow-white skin and the black wig looks sort of unnatural. If the wig fits LittleFees (I'll test it out on Luke) I might use it for my incoming LittleFee which I cannot decide a name for. The wig smells kind of like a tire :D
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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[01 Dec 2009|05:07am] |
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If I EVER, start talking about taking Diphenhydramine in great quantities again, PLEASE, someone internet-bitchslap me.
I was tripping still, even after a nights' sleep while at work on Sunday. I couldn't do much besides stand there in the quietest corner I could find and look busy until later on when my pupils finally calmed down and I had irises again and I didn't just stare off into oblivion when someone asked me a question.
Whatever, I'm done. That was crazy.
"There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon."
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ALSO:
Ayla doesn't discriminate, Ayla recognizes attractiveness regardless of gender. (The below image is not related to this statement (even though it might seem like I am implying it is. I'm really not.))
Everyone I work with now thinks I'm creepy because I think this man is attractive.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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[29 Nov 2009|05:43am] |
FYI
This is just to let you know that taking 125mg of Diphenhydramine is very much enough to make it appear that one does not have irises, but instead just very large pupils. And that they rearrange their sizes with or without changes to the amount of light shown (shined??) on them.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| Writer's Block: Tinsel town |
[29 Nov 2009|02:35am] |
Shit ain't important to me really, but since I live with my parents the decorations usually go up starting on Black Friday, and it takes about a week to get it ALL up. They like to do little bits at a time.
Shit always comes the day after, or maybe the next day. By the time Christmas is over everyone is so sick of the holidays and the past year and SO ready to start fresh in a new year that we all usually go on a cleaning rampage (I always sneak the spring themed clock up from the basement and try to set it up but I usually get caught and told to pack it away again until March). December 21st signals spring for me, the 26th confirms it in everyone elses book (even though they disagree).
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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[28 Nov 2009|03:07pm] |
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People are Crazy |
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Going out to look for another Goldfish. Holly is terminal, in the adavanced stages of kidney failure and it's sad because I've had her the longest. 3 years. She started out a very dark solid deep blue/brown. All the deep blue faded to sheer white and the brown spots turned bright orange. So she is mostly white with some tiny orange spots on her gill covers/head.
When the fish are imported from China they slide over counting tables with only half an inch of water in it so lots of fish slide down those tables on their sides, and as we all know, fancy goldfish have protruding eyes and such so their eyes grind against those counting and sorting tables so Holly's right eye is a huge scar. The eye ball is still there but but she cannot see out of it all. Despite this AND a crushed jaw she did very well. She even proved the stereotype of pet-store bought fish wrong and grew. Her fins filled out more and since then she's lived a very healthy life and has survived several Fluke and Ich outbreaks.
She'll be missed. Kurt is the only fish in my 120 gallon tank and I hate making her live alone!!! (I hate making ANY type of fish live alone, they need at LEAST one more of their OWN kind to live with since most fish are schooling creatures and need that to stay healthy). So I'm off to look for another fish friend...
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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[28 Nov 2009|03:39am] |
Well I asked for the demotion. I'm a bit nervous though. In my letter I said the reason I wanted the demotion was because I was not willing to work on Christmas Eve or Day or Thanksgiving because those are the only holidays my family comes together for and because they all fall on Thursdays and Fridays (even New Years Eve and Day do). My fear is that he will threaten to fire me IF I continue to resist working a shift on those days. I've decided to pursue my decision of refusing to work those days unless he comes to me with an ultimatum of "Work a shift on the 24th or 25th OR you're fired" In which case I will obviously work a shift.
The funny part is, if I get fired my parents will be SO angry with me. I will get punished if I get fired.
Well, if he fires me on the spot when I go back in on Monday (he won't be there when I work Sunday) without giving me any more chances I probably won't go home. I'll go to a library and find the nearest recruiting office and then you'll never see me again. :<>
Depending on which focus you're locked into life can really suck AND rock at the same time...
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(1 thought; "Why don't you then!?" | "I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| If it comes to that |
[25 Nov 2009|11:43pm] |
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God Blessed the Broken Road |
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Remember when I was able to finagle having Thanksgiving off? Now boss-man came to me and said I have to work Christmas Eve no exceptions.
Have any of you ever been so angry at someone that the muscles in your upper arm itched and tingled with adrenaline because you wanted to hit the person so badly?
My left hand formed a fist and my arm lifted. I was SO close to clocking my BOSS today. I actually used my right hand to steady my left and keeping it from extending out and punching the motherfucker in the jaw.
I don't care what anyone says about it. I want Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off. It's not that much to ask. There are plenty of other idiots that can cover those shifts. My job isn't fuckin' rocket science like the managers make it out to be. Any dumb-ass off the street could do my job with 10 minutes of instruction and good wrist control.
So I left my boss my resignation letter (from my current position, NOT my entire job). I'm off for 3 days now and he'll see it on Black Friday. It says I'm stepping down from my current position and back into my OLD position because the scheduling isn't working out for me. And also because I am not willing to work Christmas Eve or Day.
OBVIOUSLY if he comes to me with an ultimatum of "work Christmas Eve or I'm firing you" I'll work Christmas Eve but until he threatens to terminate my contract of employment over this I'm NOT fucking working on Christmas Eve or Day. And that's THAT.
Walk-out quitting on that place has never sounded SO appealing. To bad I don't already have another job lined up.. Ah well, I'm officially looking for a new job.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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[20 Nov 2009|03:19am] |
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Augustana: Boston |
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So tonight I went and saw Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
10 years later and boy oh boy I'd still do naughty things to Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus.
Those who liked the first Boondock Saints won't be disappointed. It seems a lot of critics pissed themselves over the fact that Boondock Saints II used a lot of references from the first one. I personally liked the homages. I had the movie ruined for me but there were still surprises and I did gasp a couple of times because of them! The ending SO begs for a 3rd Boondock Saints. Only ONE new character I didn't like. Almost shat myself with anticipation waiting for Willem Dafoe's cameo <3
So wanting to see it again!!!
Also got the CD from Target this morning at 8am. Came home and slept from 9am to 3pm. Saw the movie at 5:45pm. Plus I had my neurologist apt. yesterday. Been busy.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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[18 Nov 2009|02:27am] |
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mood |
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chipper |
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music |
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Blues Image: Ride Captain Ride |
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This is what I look like RIGHT after I wake up every day.
Just came back in from watching the Leonid meteor shower. Only saw 3. One was HUGE and left a greenish trail in the sky for a second or two. Might go back out later; had to come in and warm up. I was laying on the ground D: Very chilly here in the frigid Minnesota air.
Have my neurologist appt. tomorrow (later today actually) at 2pm. After that I may try and nap on and off because I'll be staying up all night and then at 3:45am my madre and I will be headed out to camp in front of Target until 8am for the Cities 97 sampler cd release. Only crap part is that Connie won't be there to entertain us with her dancing and shenanigans. Connie was a manager of sorts at the Target we always go to and she would bring everyone in line (early on) coffee and candy and anything else she could find. She was so spirited and animated and goofy. She drove a yellow Mustang and would REV the engine when she arrived in the mornings at all the waiting people!!! So much fun. Then she moved to California D: She's missed. Anyway, AFTER staying up all night to get the cd I'm gonna go home and sleep some because then Maria and I are off to see Boondock Saints 2 <333 It's playing in Eagan!!
At work tonight I was so angry that when I threw my trash bag, all the crap inside it BLEW a hole in the bag and while all the trash it's self made it into the dumpster a whole busted bottle of shampoo SPLATTERED the garbage chute, the doors, AND the fuckin' WALLS and SHELVES inside my stockroom. Yeah. Some of the trash stuck to the splatters so about 20 feet up in my stockroom theres garbage glued to the walls with Vive Pro shampoo. The blast radius was amazing. It might sound silly here but it was truly epic. I was more surprised when the bag gave out and the trash exploded like a confetti bomb. I wasn't so angry after that. More amused than anything by my own strength.
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(1 thought; "Why don't you then!?" | "I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| I knew it wouldn't last |
[14 Nov 2009|11:57pm] |
I took a better paying position at work because I was told I would have basically all holidays off. The $1.00 an hour raise had absolutely NO weight when I was deciding. I put in to have Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Christmas Eve through the 30th OFF. Boss came to me the next day saying no no no. Now I'm on the schedule to work on Thanksgiving. I about fucking called his silly ass into work so I could insert my foot.
1. I've worked EVERY Thanksgiving since I started with the company.
2. Thanksgiving and Christmas are the ONLY holidays my family gets together for.
3. Thursdays and Fridays are my NORMAL days off.
4. There are plenty of people he's JUST hired who could work. (One even WROTE on the motherfucking schedule she could work ANY days she was needed)
5. I don't request ANY other holidays off.
WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!
I'll be stepping down from my supposedly "better" position as a Trained Circus Monkey as soon as possible and go back to being a Bottom Feeder.
Inconsiderate jack-of-all-asses.
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(1 thought; "Why don't you then!?" | "I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| A day in the death. |
[13 Nov 2009|04:02am] |
Today we all remember an old friend, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) schones_gemut as they were. And NOT as what they have become. No, there has not been a physical death. But rather a rebirth. Born Again.
My old BFF. Has just "come out" as a Born Again Christian. It's a serious blow to us all. We are all grieved (and naturally so). I got my letter today confirming it. The letter states; "I no longer drink, smoke, or curse. I do not look at or watch television, the internet, movies, or listen to music because they are full of sin."
No one is quite sure how to handle her. We are all in Minnesota and she is bum-fuck Georgia. I feel as if i don't know her anymore.
Today is a sad day, we have lost a great person to the clutches and prying, withered, greedy, ugly fingers of religion.
Goodbye to you old friend, you left behind a lot of people who loved you. All we have now is the fruitless hope that one day you are able to see your way past the ropes and ties that have bound you to empty promises, and a lifetime of constant disdain and fear for yourself, a man you cannot see with your own eyes, and those who stand in your way. If you are strong enough to break free from this pain and suffering we will be here with our arms wide open to receive you.
R.I.P
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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[11 Nov 2009|02:36pm] |
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thankful |
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Cavatina (theme from The Deer Hunter) |
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I've been watching a TON, and I mean a TON of war themed movies the last month or so, hitting the big ones like Platoon and The Deer Hunter and so on. I used to wonder why NONE of the Vietnam veterans I knew and know in life would share anything with the people around them. No stories. None. I couldn't understand that and definitely didn't accept "I'm not telling anything" as a valid excuse. Yes I saw it as an excuse. Well now... As silly as it sounds, after seeing allllll these war movies, I think I'm finally starting to get an (very very) general idea of the horrors a lot of veterans suffered.
I FULLY realize that the above image is from the Korean war and NOT Vietnam, I just wanted to use it because it's SO moving.
My 11th grade English teacher Mr. Silver had been in Vietnam and I recall only one time in which he elaborated on ANYTHING to do with him during that time. He had just fought off an onslught of curious 17 year olds and their requests for "war stories" but then he smiled and told us all that in Vietnam there was no real milk. He and all his comrades had to drink powdered milk. And that the FIRST thing he did when he returned was find and drink real milk.
I feel silly wishing people a "happy" veterans day. I imagine in my tiny underdeveloped brain that for veterans of horrible wars this day is anything but happy. So I guess all I can do is show respect.
As Erich Maria Remarque states in his WW1 story All Quiet on the Western Front: "This tells of a generation of men who, even though they had escaped shells, were destroyed by the war."
All Quiet on the Western Front was also what The Deer Hunter was partially based on.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| Im impressed. |
[10 Nov 2009|03:25am] |
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music |
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The Killers: Read my Mind (as heard from my opened mouth) |
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You really can hear music out your mouth if you jam ear buds up your nostrils. I read that on MLIA, didn't believe it but ran as fast as I could to get my iPod (hardly able to walk from laughing so hard) only to discover the wider you open your mouth the better you can hear.
Do any of you know what this means!!!?
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(2 thought; "Why don't you then!?" | "I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| Dittle |
[09 Nov 2009|05:22am] |
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music |
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Bob Seger: Jody Girl |
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As crossposted to my FB;
"Forget trying to just ram your foot into a Chuck Taylor. Shit'll just collapse on you and you'll have half a crumpled up shoe hanging off your foot and lots of swear words on the tip of your tongue and even LESS time to dittle-fuck around."
Watched Mystic River for the second time in my life. First time I saw it was around the time it came out in 2003. I was around 15 then and didn't really like the movie. Found it way to hard to follow. But after seeing it again with some more "years" under my belt I can appreciate it more. Sean Penn does a convincing cry in it, but no visible tears!!!! He got the congested nasally sniffling down ace though.
Anyway.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| Damn growing up. |
[06 Nov 2009|04:09am] |
For every "grow-up" thing I do I try to do something silly too. Like just today I got paid and did the responsible thing by making my layaway payments to DDE the FIRST OoB, then I went a head and bought a new shirt and jacket;
http://shop.pacsun.com/guys/tees/Hitchcock-Tee/index.pro
http://shop.pacsun.com/guys/guys-jackets/Layne-Military-Fleece-Jacket/index.pro
1. I hope the links work
2. Yes, they're both from the mens' department
3. No, I am not a lesbian I just like the way mens' clothes fit + fashionable girly stuff these days is WAAAAY to slutty.
Then to make up for me being responsible and grown-up I went a head and swallowed 150mg of Diphenhydramine. That's Benedryl if you don't already know. I took it at abour 3:11am and it's now 4:14am. You may not be able to tell but I am tripping balls. Only took a half hour to set in. First sign was when I realized that I had subconsciously moved "don't let yourself drool" from a front burner to a back burner. Music right now is heavenly, and I keep attaching the face of Robert De Niro to certain songs. Feeling very sluggish and stupid. Thinking is difficult. Every little thing seems like a chore to complete. I for get what I am doing with appendages, I reach over to put something down but then I just let my hand hang in the air. My eyes are wide open. Getting harder to read and type especially if I stop for a moment and then start up again.
Someone on DOA has a Saint for auction and I want him. I'm never any good with winning auctions but we'll see how it goes. I've been wanting an old Dollshe for ages but I never seem to be quick enough (or rich enough) to nab them when they go up for sale.
I also really really want a Dollshe Van. I admit, the Van sculpt is very particular and very unique. In order for a Van to be success you need a STRONG character for the mold.
My AOD tan Ruo Feng is REALLY starting to grow on me. When I got him I really liked him but then started to "wonder". Been spending more time with him and practicing posing. One of my favorite past times is photo-theft so I can get ideas for poses. And no I don't mean photo-theft as in passing them off as mine. I just like to share them with my doll-less friends.
More observations after dosing:
I forget what it's called but things seem a lot bigger than they really are. Had my first hallucination. Vibrating vision, skin feels like it's moving. No desire to move.
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(2 thought; "Why don't you then!?" | "I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| Mouse named November. |
[05 Nov 2009|02:06am] |
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 contemplative |
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The Velvet Underground: Heroin |
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I found this mouse outside living under a flagstone that surrounds the pond. I turned the flood light on early in the morning around 4:30am and saw a lot darting and moving. Then these two little eyes shown like tiny black diamonds so I ran to get my camera and I went outside and crawled up to the flagstone where it was and it didn't even run away. Just kept popping up over the stone to look at me. So I gave it some Cheerios. naturally my parents hate it and assume that it will get in the house and quote "give us all diseases and multiply like crazy". They always assume the worst...
This just cause I needed to print it and I can't print from my Dell's printer, had to post it then access it from the Micron and print it from that computer.
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(1 thought; "Why don't you then!?" | "I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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[04 Nov 2009|02:38pm] |
There were tall stemmed glasses of all heights sitting around in groups of three and four, all filled with different, yet complimenting colored water. Tapestries with daisies and poppies hung from the walls and there was smoke too; nag champa I believe. It curled around and touched everything. The string lights lay along the ledge of the room and they reflected off of all the tall stemmed glasses and I liked this more and more with each passing moment. I found myself transfixed on one particular grouping of tall stemmed glasses and slowly then reached my hand out to touch one. I touched the shortest glass which had a light colored water in it (yellow I think or maybe pink, it was hard to tell the exact color since the only light was coming from the string lights which were orange, green, and purple) and I immediately heard the laughter of children! I touched the glass next to it which had a darker colored water in it (blue or purple or maybe even green) and the same thing happened only the laughter was slightly more high pitched and a little faster. I was thoroughly enjoying this and proceeded to touch the stems and bases of all the different glasses and was enthralled by the difference in the sound each one made. When I had gone around the room twice or thrice I decided that I wanted to touch the colored water inside the tall stemmed glasses. After careful consideration and all kinds of deliberation I selected the tallest stemmed glass at complete random and eased my hand up and over the rim with a grin on my face but right before my fingers touched the meniscus clinging to the sides an immense wave of nausea rolled up in my chest cavity like an ocean wave reaching it's crest. It was so strong that I withdrew my hand and clutched it in the other hand at my chest and I grimaced and wanted to purge everything I'd ever eaten since being weaned off the bottle. My mind was briefly clouded by an image of a distorted skull and crossbones. I decided that the colored water had a spell on it (or it had been poisoned) and I became an advocate that night for not touching the colored water inside the tall stemmed glasses. I tried to explain the imagery to the others but they didn't seem to get the skull and crossbones visual when they touched the colored water. They told me that they only experienced differing strengths of nausea and paranoia, which was mild at best, and never strong enough to pull away or stop. I was convinced that the water would have have killed me so you can imagine how I reacted when someone splashed me with one of them. I sent them to the hospital but I was lucky, they were only drunk and they covered for the rest of us who had been on varying varieties and salads of hallucinogens, uppers, and downers.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| Hippie |
[02 Nov 2009|02:46pm] |
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music |
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Kings of Leon: Use Somebody |
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At work all the Halloween stuff is on sale. All candy is half off and decor is 75% off. I bought 4 strings of multi-colored lights (purple, orange, and green) for $.99 each so my total for 4 sets was like $3.50. Would have been around $16.00 full price. Strung 3 sets together and put them on my ledge in my room. It goes behind my Betta tank so the Betta's home is all colorful.
Accidentally broke the 25 year old light bulb from my closet. See I noticed the light bulb in my closet burned out so I took it out and replaced but I noticed this white stuff stuck to the old bulb. Closer inspection revealed it to be the white junk that gets sprayed on ceilings and walls to give them texture which tells me that this particular light bulb was in place BEFORE the closet was sprayed, and that closet hasn't been repeainted or remodled since the house was built which tells me that this light bu;b had been in there since the house was built. 25 years ago. The light bulb that that lasted 25 years. The one I replaced it with is one of those funny shaped ones that supposedly last for 7 years. I bet I never have to change the light bulb in that closet again. For as long as I live in this house.
Finally got a response from that friend who'd been ignoring everyone. Only took her 4 months. Said she's been praying for me and a bunch of other gobbledygook about God. Her and I have been friends since we were 10 so we've got a 10 year friendship under our belts but abot 5 years ago she moved back to Iowa, and then joined thr air force and moved to CA. Now she's in Georgia or something. So we've drifted quite bit (obviously). If she REALLY thinks she can rearrange the long dried foundation of my beliefs than I believe our friend ship will be over. Not "changed" not "new". Over. I hope she's smart enough to know that I cannot be changed. Said she's writing me a letter that "explains" everything. I wonder how she'll word what's really happened to her. I know she's been brainwashed by a church down there and I'm assuming that's all she's going to talk about in this letter. I'm not really expecting much to be honest. I guess I'll find out when the thing gets here. She could go either way I guess. 50/50 chance she's normal, and 50/50 chance she's fucked back to front for the rest of her life.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| Writer's Block: Time traveler |
[01 Nov 2009|01:52pm] |
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Trik Turner: Friends & Family |
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Aw <3 I'd start in the 1960's and be a hippie and walk around in a daze all day with a head full of acid and put flowers in the barrels of the guns that were pointed at me.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| Film vs. movie |
[30 Oct 2009|04:16am] |
So I just watched The Deer Hunter for the first time ever. I admit I had seen about 2 minutes of the film before today (without realizing until I saw it again), it was of when the two are playing the "game" in the hut on the river.
I will say that it really messed with my head. Messed with my head as in I haven't really changed my facial expression since it ended. And it's kind of a wide eyed forlorn face. I'm pretty sure one of my pupils is larger than the other as well.
I don't think I'll ever watch it again. I might even get rid of the dvd. It has been the most moving film I've ever seen. And I don't mean moving as in all lovey dovey googly eyed wanting to change the world for the better.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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| Had |
[29 Oct 2009|06:53pm] |
MRI today at St. Francis in Shakopee. I was told it would be loud but I found the noise to sound more like music. Heavy bass and synth. I enjoyed more than I probably should have. Tried not to laugh and fudge up my scan. Nurses are kind of bitchy (but they usually are), guy who did the MRI was kind and liked my Renaissance Festival shirt "Bruises fade, scars heal, honor is forever". Said he goes out there every year and has a mug from every year going back to 1992.
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("I wish I knew how to quit you!")
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